Teaching Your Child Resiliency
By Andrew Hertz, MD, Zest Pediatric Network
Inspiring and developing resiliency in your child is one the key pillars of parenting today. So how do you do this? To teach a child resilience, parents and caregivers should focus on developing skills and attitudes that enable them to adapt to challenges and thrive. Here are some strategies to foster resilience:
Model Resiliency: Demonstrate coping skills by handling stress and setbacks positively. Maintain a positive attitude and encourage children to solve problems.
Encourage Independence: Allow children to solve problems and make age-appropriate decisions independently. This helps build their confidence and decision-making skills. Note: this is the opposite of helicopter parenting – push your child (and you) out of their (your) comfort zone.
Foster a Growth Mindset: Emphasize effort and persistence rather than just success. Let failure become part of the learning process. Tell your stories of failure and how you dealt with them. Let your kid fail – it is part of life. Let them skin their knee – it is part of life. Let them embrace a set-back and then overcome it later – it builds resilience.
Teach Emotional Regulation: Help children recognize and name their emotions. Teach coping strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, and positive self-talk.
Build Strong Relationships: Encourage relationships with family, friends, and mentors. Model empathy and understanding in interactions.
Set Realistic Expectations: Help children set achievable goals and gradually introduce more challenging tasks to build their confidence.
Encourage a Healthy Lifestyle: Promote regular physical activity, a balanced diet, and good sleep habits. Note: these are three other key pillars to parenting.
Create a Safe Environment: Provide stability through consistent routines and rules. Encourage children to express their feelings openly in an emotionally safe space. Discuss both yours and your child’s feelings regularly. Don’t be judgmental, just listen and support. As you child grows, listen more and give less advice. This is not easy for a parent.
Teach Problem-Solving Skills: Guide children through a step-by-step approach to solving problems and encourage brainstorming multiple solutions. Again, don’t always give the solution, let your child come up with a solution even if it may not be the best one. They will learn.
Encourage Optimism: Help children maintain a positive outlook and develop a hopeful, future-oriented mindset.
Activities to Promote Resilience: Storytelling about overcoming challenges, role-playing different scenarios, journaling to reflect on experiences, and engaging in community service to build empathy and a sense of accomplishment all help to promote resilience.
By implementing these strategies consistently, parents and caregivers can help children develop the resilience needed to effectively navigate life's challenges. Ultimately, both parent and children find the process extremely gratifying.
