The Holiday Magic of Cooking with Children
By Nicole Hamed, Certified Parent Coach, Empowered Connecting and Zest Pediatric Network
As we embrace the holiday season and all the foods and traditions that come with it, I am reminded of a time when I was baking cookies with my son when he was about four years old. I instructed him to turn on the mixer, but left out a crucial detail—the speed. The mixing bowl was filled with flour, and he very enthusiastically flipped the switch all the way to high. You can probably imagine what happened next. Instantly, we were both coated with a layer of flour along with about every surface in the kitchen. It made for a very funny and memorable experience, although not exactly what I had envisioned. My son is now 13 and every year we still giggle about the “flour incident” when we bake together.
That definitely wasn’t the only “oops” moment that I encountered when I started cooking with my children. There were, and still are, plenty of spills, messes and mistakes. But along with those moments are laughter, learning, and connection. Cooking with your kids is a wonderful way to build their confidence, spend meaningful time together and encourage the development of lifelong skills.
Listed below are just some of the benefits that children gain from time in the kitchen with a parent:
1. Builds Belonging and Connection
Kids love to feel like part of something that matters. And not just as observers, but contributors.
These shared experiences naturally create moments of conversation, connection, and teamwork and strengthens secure attachment by meeting their need to feel seen, capable, and valued.
2. Encourages Healthy Eating and Expands Their Palate
Cooking exposes children to real, whole foods and helps them understand where food comes from and how meals are made.
It invites curiosity about unfamiliar ingredients and foods. Kids are far more willing to try new foods when they help prepare them.
3. Teaches Real-Life Skills and Builds Confidence
Cooking fosters independence, patience, and confidence.
Kids learn basic safety and kitchen skills they’ll use for life.
It’s an opportunity for them to experience responsibility and pride in their work.
4. Strengthens Executive Functioning
Following a recipe requires planning, organization, and working memory.
Measuring, timing, and sequencing steps reinforce attention to detail and prioritization.
Adjusting for mistakes or missing ingredients builds flexibility and problem-solving.
5. Promotes Learning
Math is everywhere: fractions, counting, estimation, and time management.
Reading recipes promotes literacy and comprehension.
Predicting outcomes builds rational and scientific thinking.
6. Encourages Emotional Regulation
Cooking together teaches patience, frustration tolerance, and mindfulness. And not just for our children, but for us as parents too!
Mistakes become opportunities for self-compassion instead of shame.
Kids learn that good things take time and effort.
8. Connects to Family Culture and Identity
Cooking together passes down traditions, stories, and creates shared memories that become part of family rituals.
So how do you invite your kids into the kitchen in a way that feels fun instead of overwhelming? Here are my top tips for incorporating your kids into your holiday cooking this year:
1. Plan ahead. Keep the experience fun instead of stressful by preparing some of the steps ahead of time and inviting kids in when you feel calm and ready. Choose recipes that are age-appropriate and think about what tasks will feel easiest and most successful for your child. Break the recipe into “kid-friendly” stages and build in natural breaks so no one gets overwhelmed.
2. Assign them real and age-appropriate tasks. These can be big or little jobs. Washing the produce, adding the ingredients to the bowl, tearing herbs, and gathering items are all helpful contributions. As they grow, their capacity grows with them. Older kids can follow a recipe while you supervise. The goal is to give them tasks where they can experience their own success. Don’t shy away from their growth edge; children are often more capable than we think.
3. Adjust your expectations and your feedback. Sometimes as parents, we feel frustrated simply because our bar is too high. Remember, the goal is not perfection-it is to spend time connecting with your children. Consider their attention span and recognize they may be done before the recipe is finished. Be intentional in how you offer guidance and pay attention to your tone of voice and energy. Encourage what is going well, and gently redirect the areas that need support.
4. Embrace the mess. One of the best things we can do for our children is to create an environment where it is safe to make mistakes and learn from them. When those flour clouds happen, take a deep breath and narrate calmly what to do next. “Oops, that was messy. Let’s grab a towel and clean up and try again.” These moments are opportunities for us to practice and model emotional regulation.
5. Make cleanup part of the process. Incorporate small clean-up breaks along the way. This reinforces teamwork, teaches responsibility and helps keep the kitchen (and your nervous system) under control.
As you step into cooking this season, I encourage you to make room for your kids beside you in the kitchen. The smells, the spills and the “oops” will be part of the memories that they carry with them long after the season ends.
